Yay for Naked Day!

Today my German boy asked me if I would like to visit, "The Sauna." My reply was, "Hell yeah, I have been freezing my balls off over here. Let's do it."

So coming from California I expected something like a day spa. Maybe like a Glen Ivy or a Burke Williams. You know the type of place where you walk around in bathing suits and go from the jacuzzi to the sauna, to the shower and back. I was expecting a drink some herbal tea and put cucumbers on my eyes kind of day. The one thing I forgot, I wasn't in California.

As we arrived to the day spa we were given robes and led into a unisex locker room. We changed into our robes and walked into the day spa area. Butt cheeks and hairy balls were everywhere. It was like a naked Disneyland. There were two floors of different types of saunas, steam rooms, salt rooms, aromatherapy rooms, sleep rooms and jacuzzis. There was a bar and restaurant as well as an upper patio deck and outside swimming pools.

We walked outside (it was 30 degrees today) to see the pool and the other saunas. Men and women of all ages were frolicking about...butt ass naked. Some were swimming in the pool. Some were in the jacuzzi. Some were walking to little wood cabin saunas around the pool. Some were on the upper patio deck drinking beer. The only words that came from my mouth were, "You gotta be fucking kidding me."

So just like everyone else, I hung my robe and went for it. I could not believe I was walking outside in 30 degree weather in the nude. I jumped in the pool and screamed when my skin touched the water. (I don't think you're supposed to scream when people are naked. It's alarming.) My German boy just laughed and held me. My nipples could cut glass but it was liberating. It was actually really nice to swim and walk around in the nude without anyone caring and without getting a ticket. I wondered why we didn't have places like that in the States. I think Americans would love it. I did.
 
P.S. This is interesting: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sauna

Insight #2: Remember to wear your good underwear.

I had my first doctor's appointment this week. (Mom if you're reading this, I'm fine...and no, I didn't get knocked up.) I just went to get my annual girl check up. You know, the annual pee in a cup, step on the scale, let's check your blood pressure, scoot down further, this is going to be a little cold, wow that's a lot of lube day.

Well the doctors do things a little bit different here. There was no peeing in a cup or stepping on a scale. There wasn't a nice wax paper covered bed or a flowered hospital gown to put on. I was just asked to come in and sit on this dentist looking chair without the bottom leg rest part. All I was thinking was, "Ok, how is this going to work?"

As I sat in the chair, the nurse took my blood pressure and the doctor began to ask me the normal questions.

The doctor: Why are you here? Do you have any health problems?

Me: No, I don't have any health problems. I am just here for my annual lube day.

The doctor: (Blinked a couple of times and stared at the clipboard.)

Me: I was just joking. I need the annual Pap and some pills.

The doctor: Oh ok...then go ahead and take off your clothes.

Me: Ok. Right now?

The doctor: Yes.

Me: Ummmm...now? (I stood up and was still waiting for the doctor and nurse to leave the room so I could change, put on the hospital gown and cover up with a sheet. They weren't budging.)

The doctor: Yes, you can take off your pants off first. Then your shirt.

Me: Well you could at least take me to dinner first.

The doctor: You are hungry?

Me: No. I was joking. Ok, I'll take my clothes off now.

So there I was...exposed. No hospital gown. No little blanket. Not even a comforting sheet or a piece of wax paper. It was just me, the doctor, the nurse and the lube. They were professional and respectful. I just felt weird being balls out in front of them. But had to remember where I was and that was normal for them.

I sat back down on the chair and waited for the doctor to pull up a stool too. I heard a soft buzzing noise and realized my weird dentist chair was being raised up. The doctor still didn't have a stool. My chair kept going higher and higher until my nana was at eye level with the doctor. So not only was I butt naked but I was also six feet in the air. All I could do was laugh.

I left the doctor's office still laughing and thinking, "Whoa, that's one I have to write about." I can honestly say that was my first experience of culture shock. I know Europe is more liberal but I didn't see that one coming. Later I started to wonder if I was modest or if I was just American.