I had my first doctor's appointment this week. (Mom if you're reading this, I'm fine...and no, I didn't get knocked up.) I just went to get my annual girl check up. You know, the annual pee in a cup, step on the scale, let's check your blood pressure, scoot down further, this is going to be a little cold, wow that's a lot of lube day.
Well the doctors do things a little bit different here. There was no peeing in a cup or stepping on a scale. There wasn't a nice wax paper covered bed or a flowered hospital gown to put on. I was just asked to come in and sit on this dentist looking chair without the bottom leg rest part. All I was thinking was, "Ok, how is this going to work?"
As I sat in the chair, the nurse took my blood pressure and the doctor began to ask me the normal questions.
The doctor: Why are you here? Do you have any health problems?
Me: No, I don't have any health problems. I am just here for my annual lube day.
The doctor: (Blinked a couple of times and stared at the clipboard.)
Me: I was just joking. I need the annual Pap and some pills.
The doctor: Oh ok...then go ahead and take off your clothes.
Me: Ok. Right now?
The doctor: Yes.
Me: Ummmm...now? (I stood up and was still waiting for the doctor and nurse to leave the room so I could change, put on the hospital gown and cover up with a sheet. They weren't budging.)
The doctor: Yes, you can take off your pants off first. Then your shirt.
Me: Well you could at least take me to dinner first.
The doctor: You are hungry?
Me: No. I was joking. Ok, I'll take my clothes off now.
So there I was...exposed. No hospital gown. No little blanket. Not even a comforting sheet or a piece of wax paper. It was just me, the doctor, the nurse and the lube. They were professional and respectful. I just felt weird being balls out in front of them. But had to remember where I was and that was normal for them.
I sat back down on the chair and waited for the doctor to pull up a stool too. I heard a soft buzzing noise and realized my weird dentist chair was being raised up. The doctor still didn't have a stool. My chair kept going higher and higher until my nana was at eye level with the doctor. So not only was I butt naked but I was also six feet in the air. All I could do was laugh.
I left the doctor's office still laughing and thinking, "Whoa, that's one I have to write about." I can honestly say that was my first experience of culture shock. I know Europe is more liberal but I didn't see that one coming. Later I started to wonder if I was modest or if I was just American.
You're as American as apple pie! And, we love and miss you!
ReplyDeleteLady Lou
Oh my gosh, this is hilarious!! I love that you were trying to crack jokes with the doctor and he had no idea what you were talking about. Thanks for sharing your awkward experience, I would have died.
ReplyDeleteLMAO!!! Take me to dinner! You KILL me Smalls! LOL!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't know a doctor with such a chair.Tell me his name:)Nina
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